Topic Progress:

The dysfunctional parent modes are best managed by reducing and limiting their influence, especially when they have a negative impact on your life and relationships, and make you feel really bad. There are two main ways that you can deal with your Demanding Parent mode: (1) arguing you accomplishments, and (2) accepting your imperfections.

Take some time to think about and review what you have done right or well. It helps to make a list to remind yourself. Then repeat those to yourself every time you become aware of the Demanding Parent or start to hear that voice. Use the first worksheet to identify the signs that your Demanding Parent mode is active.

Download or print the worksheet to recognize your demanding parent mode here: Demanding Parent Mode Worksheet

Also, remember that no one is perfect. It is more important to be an authentic human being who have self-compassion than aiming for perfection and what other people may think. Let go of the needs of “supposed to” and “always in control”. It is these thoughts that push others away from you. Accept that you have gifts and talents, and that you are doing your best. View shortcomings as personal development/growth opportunities, and do not dwell on them. Do your best to compensate for weaknesses that negative influence your life and goals, but above all, accept them. Practice compassion for yourself and others. All people have different abilities and contributions. Do not insist on always being the best, and put yourself down when you feel a failure. Your imperfections can be a gift that distinguishes you from others!

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