Dealing with one person having ADHD in a relationship is challenging but when both partners deal with ADHD, the challenge is much greater. It is possible to have a happy and satisfying relationship though. It takes work but the rewards are worth it.
Adding to the challenge is that there are different types of ADHD and the chances of both partners having the same form are not likely. You will each need to learn about the other’s type to develop an understanding of how you each respond in different situations.
Develop a positive attitude
One of the most important things is to have a positive attitude. A positive attitude goes a long way in meeting the challenges of ADHD and overcoming them. It also helps tremendously to find some humor in your weaknesses as this helps in getting past the frustrations of dealing with ADHD. Mistakes and mishaps are much easier to deal with when you find the humor in them. It takes the sense of dire drama out of situations that might otherwise overwhelm both of you.
It is vital to have your home life organized and structured to make daily tasks easier and less frustrating to accomplish. Here are some helpful tips on making your home more conducive to dealing with both of you having ADHD.
Create a structured home environment
Set up a system for household tasks that makes it clear who is responsible for which tasks. So neither of you feels stuck doing more onerous chores, rotate them on the schedule.
Chores that aren’t assigned on a schedule often don’t get done and the result can be clutter and chaos that you both find frustrating to deal with. When you are creating your schedule, try not to overlook any chores no matter how small and insignificant they might seem. Sit down with your partner and determine just what a well-kept house is to each of you. You may find that it isn’t the same to each of you so knowing that when making a chore schedule helps find the best balance. If you are able to manage it, it can be helpful to hire someone to clean the house once a week or just to help organize a housekeeping schedule.
While accomplishing daily chores, it helps to have some fun while doing them. While you clean the house, play music and maybe dance around as you work. The work seems less like a chore and is looked forward to more.
Get someone to help organize
Making sure bills are paid on time can seem overwhelming. Hire someone with good organization skills to help you set up a system to handle bill paying, such as putting a bill paying time on your calendar. Organizing files so important paperwork is at hand and easy to find when needed. Handling taxes is frustrating for anyone but even more so with ADHD. Hire a tax consultant to do your taxes and follow advice on keeping tax information organized.
Enlisting the aid of a coach to organize your home can include help in organizing other parts of your life so you both have a sense of order and structure in every part of your lives.
Find a therapist with experience in ADHD
Emotions can get a bit out of hand at times so having a therapist who is familiar with the pitfalls of ADHD can help deal with those times. You will be able to express your feelings and concerns and get sound advice on how to deal with them.
Take care of yourself
You can’t be much help to your partner if you are not taking care of yourself. Both of you need to make sure you are getting proper nutrition and rest. When you aren’t well rested and not eating a more balanced diet, it is easier to become frustrated. You have less energy to deal with problems that come up. Following a balanced meal plan, sleeping well at night and taking breaks during the day help to smooth the challenges you face.
When both partners have ADHD, life together is a challenge. With a positive attitude mixed with humor, help from professionals, organization and structure, it is not only possible to manage but thrive and be happy together.