was successfully added to your cart.

Subscribe to our newsletter

& get a copy of our new e-book
  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

You might have developed some illogical beliefs about failure at some point in your life. Maybe you think failure suggests you’re bad or that you’ll never succeed. On the other hand, blaming other people or regrettable situations for your failure will avoid you from learning from it and bounce back after failure that everybody experiences sometime.

Failure can be an excellent instructor if you’re open to exploring reasons and solutions. Over time, you’ll find out that failure isn’t as bad as you may imagine.

Rather, think about exactly what you’ll do differently next time. Produce a plan that will help you put the details you acquired from failing into practice.

Face Your Fears of Failure

It can feel truly frightening when defeat happens if you’ve invested many of your life efforts preventing failure. Facing your worries, nevertheless, can be the secret to decreasing the discomfort.

Practice stepping outside of your convenience zone. Do things that might get you rejected or try brand-new things where you could fail. Gradually, you’ll find out that failure isn’t as bad as you might picture.

Accept Advice and Help

In some cases, failure becomes incapacitating. Think about seeking expert assistance if you’re struggling to function after you’ve failed at something.

Whether you’ve experienced a failed marital relationship, or you’ve failed in your company, speaking with a mental health expert can assist you in recovering.

Whether your boss overlooked you for a promotion at the office or you cannot qualify for a competition, failing feels bad. Many people will go to great lengths to avoid failing so they don’t have to handle agonizing feelings.

Knowing how to manage failure healthily takes some of the fear of failing – and it might reduce the discomfort so you can recover better and faster than previously. Here are nine more healthy ways to cope with failure.

Accept Your Emotions

Do not let failure hold you back.

A variety of feelings accompanies failure; humiliation, anxiety, anger, unhappiness, and pity, to name a few. Those feelings are uncomfortable, and lots of people will do anything they can to shake the sensation of psychological discomfort.

A 2017 study published in the Journal of Behavioral Decision Making states you should not aim to cast off bad sensations after failure. Researchers found that thinking of your emotions, rather than the failure itself, is most useful.

Allowing yourself to feel bad can be motivating. It can help you work more constructively to develop much better resources and skills so that you’ll improve next time.

So go ahead and accept your feelings. Acknowledge how you’re feeling and let yourself feel bad for a bit. Label your emotions and enable yourself to experience them.

Recognize Unhealthy Attempts to Reduce Pain

Your mind may want you to state, “I didn’t desire that job anyway,” however denying your discomfort will not make it disappear. Distracting yourself or filling the deep space with food or alcohol will not heal your pain either. Those things will only provide you with some momentary relief.

Acknowledge the unhealthy methods you try to avoid or reduce pain in your life. Relying on coping strategies that do more damage than good will only make your situation worse.

Practice Healthy Coping Skills

Calling a pal, practicing deep breathing, taking a bubble bath, opting for a walk, or playing with your family pet are just a few examples of healthy coping skills. Not every coping skill works for everybody, however, so it’s crucial to find coping skills that will work for you.

If you tend to have a problem with bad routines when you’re stressed out – like cigarette smoking or consuming unhealthy food – develop a list of healthy coping activities and display it in a prominent location. Utilize your list to advise you of the healthier alternatives you can turn to when you’re feeling bad.

Acknowledge Irrational Beliefs About Failure

You might have developed some irrational beliefs about failure at some time in your life. Maybe you believe failure indicates you’re bad or that you’ll never succeed. Or possibly you think no one will like you if you stop being successful.

Those kinds of beliefs are inaccurate. And they can avoid you from doing things where you may fail.

Develop Realistic Thoughts About Failure

When they were encouraged to think a mistake made them an overall failure, a 2010 study released in Appetite discovered that people were more likely to undermine themselves.

In one experiment, researchers told dieters who were fed pizza they’d completely blown their diets. Those who believed they were total failures right away ate 50 percent more cookies than individuals who weren’t dieting.

Try to reframe your beliefs when you discover yourself thinking that you’re a helpless cause or that there’s no use in attempting something once again. Remind yourself of more sensible thoughts about failure such as:

I can manage failure.

I can gain from my failures.

Failure is an indication that I’m pushing myself to do something hard and worthwhile.

You may need to repeat an expression or affirmation to yourself now and then to fend off unfavorable ideas or to motivate yourself that you can bounce back.

Accept an Appropriate Level of Responsibility

Accepting a precise level of accountability for your failure is essential. Taking on too much responsibility may trigger you to blame yourself needlessly. On the other hand, blaming other people or unfortunate situations for your failure will prevent you from learning from it.

When you think of your failure, try to find explanations, not reasons. Identify why you failed and acknowledge what you can do differently next time.

Research Famous Failures

From Thomas Edison to Walt Disney, there’s no shortage of famous failures. Invest a time looking into popular individuals who have failed. You’ll likely discover that they often multiple failed times before achieving success.

Lots of successful people continue to fail regularly. Stars get declined for functions, professional athletes get cut from the group, and entrepreneurs get turned down for investment offers.

Research what they did to recover from failure. You might find out solutions and traits that can help you in your very own life.

Ask Yourself What You Can Learn

Failure can be a fantastic teacher if you’re open to investigating. Did you slip up? Did you make a whole series of mistakes?

Consider what you might do differently next time. You will guarantee your failure has become a life lesson that assisted you to learn something.

Create a Plan for Moving Forward

Replaying your failure in your mind over and over again will not do you any favors. Do not enable yourself to ruminate on all the things that went wrong. Dwelling on your issues or rehashing your errors will keep you stuck in the same error.

About Joan Swart, PsyD, Forensic Psychologist and lecturer

Alternative Text

Joan Swart is a forensic psychologist, lecturer, and business developer at Open Forest LLC. She authored two books titled “Treating Adolescents with Family-Based Mindfulness” (Springer, 2015) and “Homicide: A Forensic Psychology Casebook” (CRC, 2016). She is a contributor to Hubpages and HuffPost.

Joan Swart on the Web
More on: Compassion, Mindfulness
Latest update: September 5, 2018