I am sober now but it hasn’t been easy. When I first started down the road to sobriety with Alcoholics Anonymous, I thought I would have unconditional support from my family. I was wrong. The damage I caused through my drinking made many in my family distrustful. Others saw my sober habits as sort of a threat. My not drinking made them uncomfortable because they did drink, even if it was in moderation.
When I stopped drinking, things didn’t immediately improve
My family also thought everything would be instantly better when I stopped drinking. I have to admit that I thought so too at first. It doesn’t happen that way, though. The depression I felt while I was drinking still haunted me at times. I could get irritable and snap at my children over the slightest things. A wall developed between me and my family.
I became very enthusiastic about being sober and talked about it all the time. My family didn’t understand and began avoiding me when I went on a tangent about sobriety. I am learning sobriety is hard work and though it is an accomplishment, I need to temper my enthusiasm a bit so I don’t drive those I care about the most away from me.
As I progress through the steps, I learn that I will have to work hard to regain the trust I once had from my family. I found that the Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book is a good resource for understanding not only alcoholism but also how it affects those we love.
Everyone in my life was somehow affected by my drinking
When I was drinking, I thought I was the only one affected until I nearly lost everything that mattered. Now I know everyone in my life was affected to the point that no one in my family supported my efforts to get sober because they couldn’t trust me to follow through.
I am grateful for my AA sponsor and everyone in my AA group. They are how I am surviving and staying sober without the support of my family. Someday, with the continued help of Alcoholics Anonymous, I hope I will get the support of my family but it may never happen and I will have to accept that. I have no control over what they do, only over what I do. I just have to focus on making my sober habits strong and eventually helping others do the same.