If you’ve been dealing with feelings of insecurity for longer than you can remember, freeing yourself from these negative feelings can seem impossible. Insecurity, described as an entanglement of destructive feelings and thoughts triggered by the past, can feel like a heavy load that you’re doomed to carry through life. Unfortunately, insecurities can also become so second nature that they offer a weird sense of comfort that’s card to let go of. The good news is that you don’t need to deal with these feelings. You can banish your insecurities, reclaim your life and the joy of being you. The following 5 things to do when you feel insecure will help you get started.
1. Realize that you’re not alone
Regardless of what your own unique insecurities may be, take a minute to consider those around you. Imperfection is everywhere – it affects all of us. Sure, on the surface, some people’s lives seem magical, but there’s always something underlying that perfection. In fact, some of the confident people you meet are probably just comfortable with their imperfections and are focusing on their strengths. This can be you too.
2. Challenge false beliefs
The actual causes of most insecurities linger on long after they became irrelevant. In most cases, what initially caused the insecurity wasn’t an actual truth. Here’s a good exercise to do to test the relevancy your insecurities. In a journal, write down any insecurities you have. Consider your life as it is now and look for solid evidence of your old feeling and beliefs. More than likely you’ll discover that you’ve been clinging to “false beliefs appearing real”. Dedicating a journal to self-reflection, including how to address your insecurities, is extremely helpful.
3. You can’t please everybody – and you shouldn’t try
First, it’s impossible to please everybody so let it go. If your objective in life is to always make everybody else happy, you’re never going to do it. Instead, create your own expectations of who you want to be and focus on that. If you make a mistake or look silly – so what! That’s a natural part of being human so just give yourself a pat on the back for trying and move on.
4. Focus on your strengths
Concentrate on, and become an expert in, what you do well and the things that you like about yourself, focusing on your strengths. If you’re uncertain about your strengths, ask people that know you well and that you trust to help you define them. We’re not just talking about skills either – they can be relational abilities, personality traits and attitudes. Chances are that the things about yourself that you take for granted, others see as extraordinary. This is another “TTD” that should be included in your journal – writing down all of your strengths and accomplishments.
5. Take action even if it’s baby steps
The act of taking action alone, even if it’s baby steps, will give you a rewarding sense of control, confidence and yes, security. If you are insecure about how you look and taking a healthy, positive action will help improve it, then take action. If you’re feelings of insecurity involve a skill set, read a book on the subject, take a class and work on it. If you’re unhappy and drowning in feelings of negativity, read motivational and/or self-help books and come up with a list of positive affirmations. Read your journal daily to remind yourself of the many terrific things about you. Another thing all of us should do is avoid listening to negative news and spending time with shallow people. Surround yourself with happy individuals who lift you up and make you feel good. Avoid spending time with anyone who brings you down. In other words, don’t just dwell on your insecurities – do something about them. Work on living a happy, secure life, one step at a time.
Getting over your feelings of insecurity and learning to love yourself again will take patience and practice, but the end results will be life changing. Reclaim the glorious gift that is you and live a life full of joy and opportunity. In other words, get out of your head and make it a point to do and be what makes you happy.