4 Sure Signs of a Commitment-Phobe

What is commitment phobia? It is the fear of any true commitment to anything that involves other people. This problem can cause difficulties in making decisions in every aspect of the person’s life. They can buy a car, get a dog, or even buy a house, but when it comes to other people, theirĀ fear of making a promise to another individual is a no go. If you’re a commitment-phobe, you don’t need to worry about every other aspect of your life. You just can’t make a commitment to another human.

If you fall in love with someone who’s a commitment-phobe, you’ve probably walked into a nightmare. Look for signs of this kind of behavior before you end up falling for them. You don’t want to be in love with someone who is incapable of having a true relationship! There are many symptoms of commitment phobia and a single person doesn’t need to have them all to have this problem. Keep a careful eye on the following traits!

They could be a commitment-phobe if:

1. Had Only Noncommittal “Relationships”

If the person you’re dating has had many short-lived relationships, this could be a sign that they have a fear of commitment. If they’re not young but have never had anything long term or serious, this should give you a warning flag. It should also be noted if they’ve had a few long-term relationships that didn’t evolve into something greater or serious.

2. Won’t Commit To Advanced Planning

When you have a commitment-phobe in your life, you may see them shying away from any long advanced planning. This means that they prefer to make plans only a couple of days in advance but usually make plans on the very day that they want to do something. Don’t expect them to set a date a week or more in advance. As well, you may find that unless seriously pressed, they will make no serious commitment to show up at a party or gathering. You may hear them say that they’ll try to make it or that they’ll do their best to be there, but you will likely get no serious “yes” to the invitation. Certainly, don’t expect them to just show up.

3. Modifiers

If you pay attention to what a person with commitment problems is saying, you will notice that they use modifiers quite a bit when speaking. They often use words that will keep them from making a commitment to anything that they’re asked. Instead of them saying, “I will be there at 10 o’clock” you will likely hear, “I might be there at 10 o’clock” or “I’ll probably be there at 10 o’clock.” They will often use the words, might, maybe, probably, probably not, and might not. There is nothing solid in any answer. They don’t want to come right out and say no, but they won’t come right out and say yes either.

4. Undefined Relationship

Another serious sign is having an undefined relationship with them. You will find that no matter how many months or even years that you spend with them that they’ve avoided having any serious commitment conversations with you. You probably still wonder where you stand with them. They avoid using the terms “boyfriend” or “girlfriend”. You may have tried to have conversations to define your relationship or even flatly asked them why they won’t call you their boyfriend or girlfriend. Chances are they’ve probably given you a silly excuse about not wanting to label what you are to each other. They also avoid using the “L” word. Most commitment-phobes have a seriously hard time expressing their feelings. Feelings may even scare them half to death. This means that they’re likely not going to say that they love you and truly mean it if they do.


Most men and women that have issues with commitment will likely never commit to a serious relationship and are very often promiscuous. If you find yourself in a relationship with someone like this, your best bet is to end it as soon as you can. The heartache and time wasted can be significant when faced with individuals with this particular condition.


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Latest update: September 12, 2016
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